Belhaven's Inaugural Wellbeing Forum
On Saturday 11 October, Belhaven Hill School hosted its inaugural 'Wellbeing Forum' for parents, families from the local community and providers of mental health care provision connected with the School.
Speakers
Three renowned speakers, followed by a Q&A session and a chance to reflect on the advice offered, aimed to bring people together to form a proactive momentum for the benefit of families connected to Belhaven. Rhona McAlpine, Occupational therapist and founder of McAlpineOT, spoke about the relational approach to emotional and behavioural change. Leeanne Turner, Safeguarding and Child Protection Officer for the City of Edinburgh Council, spoke about mobile phones, social media and the challenges of online supervision and Debbie Spens, mental health first aid trainer for the Charlie Waller Trust, spoke about the development of the teenage brain and the associated consequences.
Inspiration
The idea for a Wellbeing Forum came from our desire to help families to prepare for the onset of teenage adolescence. The majority of guidance for parents positions itself as assistance for those already mired in teenage behaviour that seems to betoken a different child – the replacement of the permanently cherubic with the occasionally demonic -– but we felt that this missed what we are seeing as we support young adolescents at the start of their quest for independence. With puberty starting from the age of 8 or 9, 90% of 12 year olds owning a smartphone and big tech retaining their hold on the teenage imagination, it is vitally important that we work together in the interests of our children, if only to prevent division in the face of that dreaded line ‘But everyone else has one/is on it’!
Key Points
Rhona McAlpine’s talk on the relational approach to behavioural and emotional change encouraged parents to validate the emotional response of the child as the first step towards regulated behaviour. Recognising the sensitivity of a child’s ’smoke alarm’ is key, Rhona said, to understanding how to respond to the challenges that they face on a daily basis at school and at home. This awareness of each individual’s context chimed well with Leeanne Turner’s encouragement to involve our children in the process of managing smartphones and social media in the hope of keeping conversations open and supportive. That same thread of loving them even when they are doing their very best to turn their parents away – it was useful to be reminded that this act of sabotage is a deliberate, if subconscious, part of the achievement of independence in a teenager – also fed through Debbie Spens’ talk on the teenage brain. At the heart of each talk was the central importance of parents allowing for an evolution of their role whilst remaining at the centre of their child’s life – the metaphorical rope that binds us may have to be stretched and given more slack now and again, as Leeanne reminded us, but we must remain connected.
The Mobile Device Debate
It is clear that mobile devices present a potential barrier to this relationship and, in the worst cases, a guillotine to that rope. We heard a healthy debate as to the merits of the various evidence bases that support very different readings of the impact of mobile devices on children. There is a desire for a consensus as to when it might be detrimental to children to have access to mobile devices, as well as an acceptance that all children are different – the powerful PSA from Smartphone Free Childhood US certainly makes a strong case for keeping phones out of bedrooms and everyone agreed that a clear set of rules within each family was an important first step. A broader consensus will, it would seem, be harder to reach unless the approach of ethical social media platforms starts to take a broader grip on the market.
Summary
It is true that children can present very differently at school to the way in which they present at home, with both being equally valid and real. It is therefore clear that parents and school pastoral teams must communicate more, and earlier, about the capacity and tendencies of each child in their attitude to opportunity, risk, technology and physical development. We are looking forward to continuing these important conversations with all of our families as we look to find the best way to support our children in this rapidly changing world.
Olly Langton – Headmaster
